Entry # 001 - The first glimpse inside

It is 2:00am.

I should already have been sleeping peacefully for hours. However, here I am again, awake at this late hour and just beginning to feel the signs of daily fatigue. I cant go as far as to call it full blown insomnia, but it's damn close by my approximation.

Winter seems to have this effect on me, it's not random by any means and I find myself afflicted by an impressive lack of sleep during the Winter months. This has been occurring for the better part of the last four years or so. I sleep great during the Summer, Fall and Spring seasons (heat does bother me slightly in the Summer though, but it's tolerable because I am used to it).

Whats the point? well, there really isn't one, I just wanted to rant about my sleep habits and how I can't stand Winter because of how it effects my sleep schedule in particular.

Moving on...

Lately I've found myself happier than I've been in years.

Partially due to changes I've made in the way I handle things in life, and (mostly) due to a turn of events over the last few months that have allowed me to get close to someone I have had feelings for, but was unable to because of her already being involved with someone else.

When I think someone is worth waiting for, I wait, what can I say? it might be pathetic to some people, to others romantic, to me it is simply what I do if I feel a certain way. Sappy, but true.

Anyone that has ever known me for any substantial period of time, knows that I'm not the type of guy who goes around looking to move in on women that are already taken, it is simply not what I do and goes against values I have that set me apart from most modern day degenerates (despite having been involved with numerous individuals over the years who would do such a thing at a moment's notice).

So, when the proverbial opportunity knocked, I was there to answer the door. It had never been a secret about the way I felt previously, but I had kept myself under wraps and respectful both out of respect for her and for the fact that she was already in a relationship.

After a few very long, late night chats with her, we started to find that we have a ridiculous amount in common. More than anyone else I have ever been attracted to, in fact the amount of things we do have in common are just downright shocking.

The first night we spent around four hours chatting, she lives a long distance away from me and chat was the easiest method of communication, and the second it was around six. I've never been so interested in hearing what someone else had to say, which speaks volumes to me, and it became even more apparent as we spoke that the feelings I had held onto for all this time were mostly mutual. Both of us were single now, and looking forward to a visit we had planned for the Spring.

Unfortunately, a turn of events came about that caused her to have to come down much sooner than expected. It is only the circumstances that surrounded her having to make that trip that are unfortunate, and as it is not my business to discuss I will just leave it at that. A side effect was that we were both going to get to see each other much sooner than we had planned, and I was excited about it to say the least.

After a few days wait, we managed to get things setup and she was able to set some time aside from her busy schedule to spend a weekend down here, visiting her friends and hanging out with yours truly.

I had a great time, and I think she did too. The one thing we both knew was going to be tough was the whole long distance aspect of things, I get extremely attached (not in a sickening, jealous type of way) and she does too, that can be a volatile combination if not handled delicately. All in all I can see things turning out great, to say the least, I just wish we lived closer, and it makes me wonder if I waited too long to make my feelings known.

After all, I can always make another friend, but it's slightly more difficult to find that person who just might be (prepare for the cliche) the one.

Perhaps I'm not done learning lessons after all.